Los decisiones de mi vida…
Que es mi problema?!
Today has been relatively good, despite the fact that I am still left with some overwhelming details in my unplanned life. I would love some neon signs from God right now telling me just where I should go and what option I should choose. I went to VA Western Community College and successfully changed into the Horticulture plan..then they asked which one: Landscape Architecture, Viticulture, or Greenhouse Management. Well, I asked if I could do both Greenhouse Management and Viticulture…after a few strange looks they said..as long as you’re paying for it, I don’t see why not. Then comes the price tag….I would really love to avoid falling into greater debt thanks….I already have my undergrad to pay for. So, I’m left with thinking about whether I should do both or just one…or what? Some prayer and deliberation and e-mails are going to help me decide. As well as a lofty conversation with my parents. I can already imagine my father’s reaction….so not excited for that one.
I just have to ask myself what I’m working towards (at this moment in time). What has influenced me onto stumbling onto this path? Well here’s the list: I love being outside. I love interacting with other people and helping educated them/visa versa. I want to work with kids/youth and show them how food grows and how to prepare it. I want to learn more about ameliorating the problem of food deserts. I want to make a difference. I need somewhere to start though. So maybe taking a basic class in horticulture is where it’s “at”. Which course would benefit me more? Well, I think the obvious choice is Greenhouse Management.
Oh well…it’s time to go on with life and deliberation sans internet. Back to the Kyle house I go!
What is Ministry/Missions?
My whole life one of questions I have been asked has been: Are your parents missionaries? Why? Because I’m from South Africa. My answer: no. This question, although simple and meaning well, I always disliked it.
I’ve always had this one thought of missionaries pressing God on people. I never liked that. I know that is a very narrow minded view, but the connection always annoyed me for some reason. If you want to know why I’ll explain it to you personally. This post is more focused on my journey on figuring out how I define my ministry/mission.
Let me just start by saying. My job/internship/discernmentship that I have been in since September has been helping me dwell on these thoughts and sort of figure out a way to put it into words. Maybe it’s part of my Statement of Faith, which is another subject all together.
So how do I define ministry/missions? People. Developing relationships with people is the most effective way to do ministry and missions. “I can’t do mission work because I don’t evangelize well.” I think that’s been my excuse for far too long. Due to that excuse, I never quite figured out how to “evangelize” or talk about God with people. I just needed to learn that.
When I lived in Ecuador I met some really interesting people who taught me more than any other Christians have about sharing the gospel. I met people that didn’t attack me/treat me differently because of my faith. I met people that I could share my faith with without feeling as though I was pushing it on them or feeling as if they were judging me.
So what’s the big deal about this post? Well, a close friend of mine, that I met in Ecuador told me something incredible today. He had decided to go back to church. Somehow he let God in. I have seen people “get saved” in non-denominational churches, but I have never ever had a close relationship with those people. To know the person and know even a small part of their struggle, it is a joy to know that they are turning to God. Wow!
Miracles do happen. We too often overlook them or take them for granted.
We need to revel in the miracles that God gives/shows us and share them with others.
Thoughts on marriage.
When you marry someone, you marry their family.
You may not see their family all the time, you may see them once a week or more.
You may not love all of them, you may love them more than your own.
No matter what, remember that you are marrying into their family and vice versa—they are marrying into yours.
If I ever get married, I don’t want to hate my mother-in-law and I don’t want her to hate me. I don’t want any future siblings-in-law to dislike me for anything I have made my spouse do/for shutting down my spouse’s dream. I want to love my in-laws. I want us to help each other grow, share, and enjoy life.
That’s what I want marriage to be like. I will take any challenges that come my way, but I want to learn from them and work them out. This is a constant realization that I keep coming to. I want to work things out and fix them. I don’t just want to give up.
Traveling down this road.
So, I love to travel. I do, really. I like planning things and learning things and maybe even doing some problem solving. I suppose you could say I like being in control. Well, this weekend has really cemented that thought that I like to know the plan or be in charge of the plan for the most part.
It’s been pretty rough.
My flight was rather perfect, with just a small amount of turbulence.
But: I do not like “completely lacking in any organization whatsoever” traveling. I do not like the “chicken with it’s head cut off” feeling. I do not like arguing/frustration/bad driving/feeling unsafe/low blood sugar.
I’ve realized, that just like one of my sisters, when my blood sugar gets low, I turn into a horrible person. Add some complete lack of sanity, the equation = insanity.
I like peace. I like for people to get along. I am not 100% against conflict. However, I don’t like conflict if it is just conflict and there is no learning that stems from that.
Safety is an interesting concept. After working at many camps, one of the things they tell you is never put someone in a situation that makes them feel unsafe. Why? Because when someone doesn’t feel safe, they do not act with their reasonable, normal judgement. Their actions become irrational.
So, although I may not have enjoyed my time so far in California, at least I’ve learned some things…or had time to dwell on them.
what does it all mean?
So, lately, I’ve been feeling the urge/push/need to maybe write more on my blog. What’s stopping me? Well, the fact that I don’t have internet in my house is one thing. The ease of internet…oh how I miss it. I actually have to walk somewhere to go and use it?! What is this madness? But really, by the time I want to blog, it’s usually a shlep to take all my stuff to Knox (the office) and get set up/situated. There are plenty of excuses, it’s late, I need to get to bed, the BIGGEST LOSER is on, and many more. My lethargy, just causes my blogging to stop. But I have been really tired lately…bad sleep/weird dreams and just not sleeping enough. My purpose for beginning to blog again. Maybe I just need to empty my head of thoughts and just be free! There are some things coming up.
This weekend we will have 100+ people at Global Village!! That’s pretty crazy. I hope everything goes smoothly and/or no one flips a lid/ gets injured, etc.
A week from now I will hopefully be on the beach in California! I am going there for my sister’s wedding.
I also want to blog about God’s beauty here at Calvin Center, which means that I need to take some pictures to show :). Also, coming up I will be leaving Calvin Center, not too soon, but in May, and I will begin yet another “hopefully” epic road trip/adventure. And well, that needs to be cataloged.
Here’s to hoping that there is more blogging to come!
One day I hope to wake up and not have everything figured out…but to be still and know that He is God. I know that I am not in control. I know that I will not be the force that runs my life and I will not be the one to decide everything. I hope that God shows me the way and points me in the directions of his plan.
Currently I am on a windy road of questions and few “ANSWERS”. I wish I had a nice highlighted route to follow, but alas I am without a God given GPS. I feel as if I am walking, staring at the sun, and unsure of where I am placing my feet. As long as it feels like solid ground I will continue walking, when I reach the sea I will begin to swim.
truth in English. verdad.(truth in Spanish) waarheid. (truth in Afrikaans)
(Source: staypozitive)
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